Between work, extracurricular activities, a husband in the Navy, and three active boys, my only desire after the sun sets is to hide in the darkness of my room and disguise myself amongst the covers.

Despite being lectured for years that ‘sleep’ doesn’t count I’ve often thought of snoozing as the time I took for myself. After hearing the same advice from various sources, something in me recently clicked. I rationalized that moving bed time up by 30 minutes, would free three and a half hours every week. Being the queen of self inflicted guilt, I reasoned that I could surely manage to dedicate three hours a week to myself.

What to do with all that time? Blogging seemed to be an obvious choice for several reasons. With family 2000+ miles away and three hours ahead, it is a way to keep them posted on our little clan. By the time we eat dinner it’s too late to call the relatives back home in the ‘Burgh.

As I mentioned my husband is in the Navy, so often times it falls to me to lead. As a female I obviously have no clue what a young boy is thinking, at least not most times. Being plagued by self doubt doesn’t help. I question most of the decisions I make, as well as the majority of advice I offer our boys. Though I’ll never tell them that; at least not for a while, anyway. The gears that churn in my mind and heart should be broken by now. Though not broken, they are worn and surely explain my level of sanity, or dare I say lack thereof.

The doubts I have parenting tear me apart. On several occasions, I have attempted to write my uncertainties in a journal, but found myself quitting within a few days because I lacked patience. Simply put, it took too long writing everything by hand. Not only did it consume more time than I was willing to give, but I became frustrated by my inability to jot down ideas fast enough. I’m hoping typing will work out much better than the writing.

After all, it would be nice to look back in a few years and remind my children of what little angels they once were. For now the worst thing I could possibly document is their morphing into Decepticons when it’s time to do chores or clean their rooms.

Hopefully this will serve not only as an update for family, but also as a place for me to vent, unwind, and make light of the chaos that consumes life.

Here’s to testing the theory that making time for me will ultimately make the home more pleasant for everyone.

Cheers,

Lauren